what had happened was

fuck danny meyer.

Many years ago, there was a bunch of hoopla about the massive glass behemoth that noted architect, Frank Gehry, had designed for the Atlantic Yards development. People brought back the “Fuck Frank Gehry” t-shirts that first became popular after his design for the museum in Bilbao was revealed and everyone hated that, too. According to […]

i never promised you a rose garden.

Is it terrible if you feel absolutely nothing for the person that gave birth to you? I’m not angry at her. I’m not sad or wistful or unhappy. I just feel completely indifferent right now. My mother recently moved into an adult assisted living center in north Jersey. She has a studio apartment that looks […]

out of office ending.

The vaccines are rolling out. Restrictions are easing everywhere. The government seems to be like a cool parent right now testing the bounds of our ability to do the right thing when faced with potentially troublesome situations. Are you going to keep vigilant with mask-wearing even after you are fully vaccinated? We shall see. Even […]

another trip around the sun

Because I was due to be born on Christmas, my parents were considering naming me “Noelle.” I don’t know if it’s because I came out six days early, but they did not ultimately choose that very on-the -nose moniker. (Other contenders were Esperanza and Gillian, so I guess I was going to have an unusual […]


I wrote this while riding the train from New York to Maine on Monday, November 2nd, 2020. My father passed away four days later. My dad has been preparing me for the day of his death since I was a very young child. I was born in 1975 and my parents were 31 and 41 […]

first call

In the last three weeks there have been two things that people want to discuss with me: how it’s been to reopen my business after six months of being closed and how I feel about Messi wanting to leave Barcelona. The answer is the same for both topics. I feel emotional and anxious. Unlike thousands […]

tik tok don’t stop

Twice in a fortnight, Trump has threatened to “ban TikTok.” If you were to check my battery usage during this quarantine time (QuarTime), you might see that TikTok is my most used app by a large margin. According to the sad statistics of my phone data, I spend 30-45% of my screen time on this […]

the year of the karen

Ask anyone who works at a bar or restaurant what they think about Yelp reviews. They might as well rename the website “The Karen” because it is dominated by opinionated, entitled blowhards screaming poorly written opinions out into the void and thinking that their words matter to anyone but themselves. Most people I know who […]

you don’t need a knife for this

2020 will always be remembered as an absolute garbage fire year. As I write this, we are halfway through this year and we are already ascribing the worst occurrences of human existence (plague, famine, police brutality, destruction of democracy, murder hornets, etc.) as “so 2020.” Every horrible scenario that you can possibly imagine to happen […]

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